When I first conceived of this newsletter, my life was perfect. I had just gotten the two things necessary for ultimate happiness: a boyfriend and a real job. Of course, my life wasn’t actually perfect, it just seemed that way on paper. But now that I had the basics down, I was determined to get my life as close to perfect as I could—knowing that I was only ever going to fall short of it. But, hey, we could all use some exposure therapy to failure. 

 

As it turns out, “ultimate happiness” and “job” don’t exactly belong in the same sentence. At least, not for me, and not when the job is in finance. I disliked it so much that I all but stopped writing, the creativity sucked out of me like the enchanting voice from a beautiful mermaid, and the newsletter was history before it could even begin. 

 

Perhaps true happiness, real joy that makes you cry if you think about it too hard, only comes if you step off the beaten path, when you let go of trying to be perfect. With the support of my family (emotionally and financially), and an oath of frugality, I took a leap of faith: I quit my job to spend a year pursuing my wildest dreams full time.

 

I’ve known since I was nine years old, the second I finished reading Breaking Dawn, that I wanted to be a writer. I grew up knowing I should never actually say I wanted to be a writer when I grew up, lest the hordes of wise adults find out and lecture me about needing to make a living with a real job, trying to stomp the dream out of my foolish little head. 

 

Subjecting yourself to a lack of income hardly feels like a dream, but I’ve never felt more free—and I know that sounds like the tagline of a cheesy (and probably out of touch) coming-of-age movie. I hope to use this newsletter to chronicle the cinematic moments of trying to do the things I’ve always wished I could, and the moments I feel I’ve made a colossal mistake in trying to reach for the stars.  

 

Maybe we can find out together if making your own path, diving head-first into an “imperfect” life, could be the ever elusive secret to happiness—even if you get sopping wet along the way.